The Story of We
by JumpingOverTheMoon
Summary: This is a abstract and untraditional cartwills fanfic told mostly in flashback. I am striving to show that true love can capture your heart and hold on to it forever. In the story of Derek and Karen we know that they're in love...but the don't see it until it's too late...or is it?
1. How did WE get here

(A/N): This is a Cartwills Story I promise. It takes twist and turns, but I want it to be something great so please follow along if you are so inclined. Also I have a million ideas in my head like everyone else, so I start new stories. I hope that you enjoy this one. As always please R/R and follow! You guys are awesome

Derek stood at the altar with a thousand butterflies in his stomach. Today was the day that he would be married, and it was all because of his best friend Karen Cartwright. As a matter of fact she was his best woman, standing right by his side. She was wearing a lavender strapless dress, and he couldn't help but look over his shoulder and smile. She was already tearing up. She smiled back at Derek and patted him on the shoulder. The processional began and girls walked down the aisle wearing long deep purple gowns. Then his bride walked down, long blonde hair cascading in ringlets under the veil. She was stunning. Derek caught his breath unable to move until he felt her hand on his back.

"She's the one." Karen whispered he knew that she was crying now. If he turned and looked at her his heart would break, so he kept his focus on the woman at the other end of the aisle.

He didn't even know how he got there; this was not the course that he imagined his life taking. But here he was starring eternity in the face. He smiled as a tear fell from his eye.

"I love you." He said under his breath although he knew she couldn't read his lips.

How did they get to this point you ask….read along.

"Karen what are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Roger Cartwright said opening the door.

"Um….I had the weekend off, so I decided I would come visit." She said peering into the house that had been her home all of her life. "Is mom home?" Karen asked anxiousness showing in her eyes.

"Um no, she had that vacation with her book club remember. We talked about that last week. Are you okay honey?" He asked noticing her strange behavior.

Karen fell into her dads embrace right there at the door crying. She sobbed and spoke inaudible sentences against his chest. It was home, the comfort and love of her father was everything she needed. She felt just like a little girl again.

"What is it Karen? What's wrong baby girl?" He said running his fingers through her hair. "Let's get you in the house." Roger said leading his daughter inside.

After a few minutes of sobbing, Karen finally pulled away from her father.

"Are you ready to talk about it lemon drop?" He said using her childhood nickname.

"I guess I have to, you'll make me eventually." She said with a weak attempt at a smile.

"You talk about whatever you want baby, or don't talk about anything." He said comforting Karen.

"It's Jimmy dad, he…..he went to prison….or jail…but he's going to prison" Karen said with a wince knowing that Roger would be furious.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry." Was all that he said.

"Are you kidding me…..isn't this the part where you tell me how I was wrong and you were right? Or how you told me that Jimmy was no good, and not worth my skills, talent, beauty or time?" Karen said in a mockery.

"No. This is the time where I, your father, help my distressed daughter through a personal crisis." Roger replied surprisingly.

Karen started crying again her emotions were all over the place. She was exhausted from the flight. She was exhausted from the last eight months of her life. She lay in her dad's chest until she fell asleep. Karen slept for twelve hours straight.

When Karen woke up she found herself on the couch in one of her favorite blankets. Her shoes, socks and pants were removed and she had on a pair of old pajama pants. She smiled knowing that her father had taken care of her, just like he had so many times in her life; especially after heartbreak.

Karen looked for her cell phone; she had three missed calls, two from Jimmy. She had memorized the number he called from the county jail. The other missed call was from an unknown phone number. She didn't bother to check the messages.

"Oh good, you're up kiddo." Roger said coming into the living room.

"Hey dad, thanks for yesterday." Karen said stretching her arms.

"You know that I'm always here for you lemon drop." He smiled at her. "Do you want to talk about it over breakfast? I made your favorite."

"Chocolate chip pancakes?" She almost shrieked. She jumped up of the couch and headed towards the kitchen.

After filling her plate to capacity with pancakes and strips of Bacon she took a seat to face the inevitable.

"I didn't realize that women on Broadway ate like that." Roger teased.

"Well I don't know how much longer I'll be on Broadway. The show is a hit, but…..maybe I'm not." Karen stated.

"Oh baby girl, this about the Tony awards? I didn't raise you to be a poor sport. Losing to someone is an art. It doesn't mean that you weren't good, it just means this was Ivy's year. And next year, it will be your turn." Roger stated simply.

"You're right dad." She said as she tasted the pancakes.

"And about Jimmy, he is an adolescent, and not worthy of my little girl." He announced.

"If it were up to you dad, I'd be lonely because no one is good enough to you." Karen chuckled.

"That's not entirely true love. I have been known to be over protective. But if we are speaking as two adults…..I would want you with someone like….well…..like Derek Wills." He stated.

Karen nearly spit out her pancakes, she was caught off of guard. "Derek…..do you not remember the articles you read?" Karen inquired with an incredulous look.

"I am very aware of his actions. But one think that you cease to realize, is that he never did any of that to you. I find that interesting." Roger said grabbing seconds.

"He didn't do that to me, because I didn't allow him too." Karen challenged.

"Karen I know you honey. I know that after heartbreak like Dev, and all the time you were spending with Derek, all the things you've told your mother, you were vulnerable. If he wanted to take advantage of that he could've. He is a professional seducer, and you love are no professional in that area." Roger was straight forward.

"Dad seriously…..I would've thought that you would despise Derek." Karen was surprised.

"When I was in New York, I thought Derek was the person I seen climbing out of your window, and I gave him hell. I was rude, I called him a 'boy' I was cold, and most all I was petulant. But Derek remained kind and welcoming. He is very fond of you, said you were a wonderful girl, and he had nothing but respect for you." Roger said finishing his food.

"Derek said that? About me?" Karen repeated.

"Are you surprised? I thought you two had a great relationship?" Roger sighed.

"We did have a great relationship. But when he found out Jimmy and I were together, well he really got upset. Our relationship hasn't been the same for months. We've remained friends, but it's not the same. I told him he wanted to control me, and he said I was selfish" Karen stated regretfully.

"Karen, a lot of times when a man's ego is crushed, he lashes out and does stupid things because he's hurt. But as a woman, as a good woman you have to know when to ignore the mistakes, and see the root of the problem. It sounds to me like Derek was jealous. It may not have been a control issue as much as it was a protective instinct. Derek being a little older than you, well quite a bit older, recognized the signs in Jimmy and wanted to keep you away from that." Roger explained.

"I don't know dad, but this is weird can we stop talking about Derek?" Karen said chuckling.

"Sure, let's talk about Jimmy….what did he do to go to prison?" Roger said sternly.

Karen knew no matter how she phrased it; her father wasn't going to be pleased. "Well dad it turns out that a few years ago Jimmy was getting high with a girl, and she overdosed. He got scared and left the girl to die. He finally turned himself in, and the girl was fine, but he has to do time for the drugs." Karen said with a deep breath.

"Karen, I want you to think long and hard about this boy. This is not the life that I want you leading." Roger was clearly upset.

"I know." Karen said in a whisper.

"No Karen I don't think you've thought about this. If he was doing drugs then how do you know that he's not now?" Roger stated. "If he's never gotten any help of if he has never had a reason to quit it is very unlikely. Is that the kind of person you want, a drug addicted boy. What if he is high and something happens to you? Will he leave? What if you guys have a child? Do you want him to be high with the baby? You have to think Karen." Roger stood up to rinse his plate. "I love you Karen and I just want the best for you."

"I know dad I love you too." She relaxed knowing that the conversation was over.

Karen visited her friends for the rest of the day, before boarding a plane back to New York. She couldn't help but contemplate her father's words. He was right about Jimmy, even though Karen hated to admit it. There was no way Karen should have been with a guy like that. Her dad didn't even know the half. Karen fooled herself into thinking Jimmy was a different person after Kyle died, but she knew that wasn't the truth. Jimmy was a drug abusing little boy. Karen had no business with him. She would be sure to end their relationship, although she would always be willing to be his friend.

The most shocking thing Roger said was the stuff about Derek. In particularly how he had interacted with him. Karen had been so busy with Jimmy she hadn't even notice there interaction. Karen thought about calling Derek, but after his dedication to Ivy she didn't know what to say. She wasn't mad, at least not enough not to talk to him, but she was a little jealous. She had pushed Derek right into Ivy's arms. As much as she didn't want to admit it, maybe she was fond of Derek too. Maybe she did care about him in that way. She shook the thought from her head and enjoyed the rest of her first class flight.

When Karen finally got home from the airport, she found Derek waiting for her on the stoop.

"Hey, what are you doing here? Have you been waiting long?" She smiled at him.

"Hey, I um…..I wanted to talk to you and get your advice about something. You were the only person that I could think of that I can trust." Derek said vulnerably.

"Okay, well do you want to come in for a while?" she smiled.

"Maybe we can go for a walk?" Derek offered instead.

"Sure. Let me put my bags in the house and freshen up. Come in." Karen said unlocking the foyer door.

Derek grabbed her bags from her. He was clearly distressed, and it bothered Karen. She didn't comment on his state of mind, and decided to wait until she could get him out of the house.

"Where are you coming from?" Derek asked.

"Iowa, I went to visit my dad yesterday." Karen responded from the bedroom.

"You didn't tell me you were taking off." Derek was a little surprised.

"Well we weren't really the best of friends lately." Karen was being honest.

"I know, and I'm sorry for that…..for a lot actually." Derek appeared at the door frame of her room.

"I know Derek…..me too." Karen said as she finished putting her hair in a messy bun. She grabbed her purse and walked out of the room. "I was really proud of you for winning two Tony's Friday. I didn't get a chance to talk to you." Karen recalled regretfully.

"Thanks. You wouldn't have wanted to talk to me. I was in a ball of fog and still a little drunk actually. I wish the night would have ended differently for you." Derek said soothingly. He seemed so sad, and Karen couldn't put her finger on why.

"You seemed like you were pretty clear to me; especially during you thank you speeches." She recalled him not thanking her at all. "And you don't have to say that because you're my director Derek. I know that you wanted Ivy to win, and you should." Karen said standing face to face with the director.

"No I don't. And I'm not. I am saying it as your friend. I know how much you worked for it, and how spectacular you were. It's a little harder when you are part of an ensemble cast, going against someone who is embodying an icon. The fact is in your first Broadway show you were a lead and a Tony nominated actress. That is a great way to start a career to me." Derek kissed her on the forehead. He didn't respond to the part about Ivy. He didn't need to.

"I appreciate that Derek. I didn't know if you still considered me a friend." Karen said approaching the door.

"Yes I do love. I hope that you can consider me as a friend too." Derek said in a monotone.

After Karen locked her place she turned and looked at Derek. He looked like he hadn't slept since the Tony's. Once they were outside in the fresh air she turned to face him.

"What's on your mind Derek?" Karen asked with concern. "You look like you haven't slept in days."

"Truth?" He looked at her waiting for her to nod. She did "I haven't slept. I've been in my room thinking and drinking. I was trying to pin point the moment when everything went wrong for me this year. And um…all I could think about was every time I got mad I ran to Ivy. It made me sick to my stomach." Derek admitted with a sigh.

"Well you ran to the person who made you feel most comfortable. There is nothing wrong with that." Karen said soothingly, although she had a feeling of uneasiness. She didn't like to think about Derek's relationship with Ivy knowing that it could have been her.

"I thought that too at first. But I realized I was going to the place where there was no consequence. I could do and say anything to Ivy, and she would just take it. I was never responsible or accountable for my actions with her. So I ran to her for every upset of the past two years knowing I could use and abuse her. In fact when you chose Jimmy over me…..I ran to Ivy." Derek explained.

"Derek I didn't choose Jimmy _over _you. I was already in a relationship with Jimmy when you told me how you felt." Karen said confused by the statement. "I never knew that you felt that way about me."

"What do you mean you didn't know? We spent all of our time together. We nearly kissed a thousand times." Derek stated with a touch of anger.

"Exactly you never kissed me, you never explained. Something always stopped you….most of the time it was Ivy. I've always know that you were in love with her, and that was okay with me." Karen replied.

"In love with her? Is that what you thought? I was comfortable, I was acting like a baby but I wasn't in love with her Karen. I'm still not in love with her. I just love the idea of Ivy. I loved what she represented. And that's why I came to you…..I needed to talk to you about something." Derek sat down on the bench at the park they ended up walking to around the corner from the house.

"Okay….shoot." Karen was perplexed.

"I screwed up Karen. Ivy's pregnant." Derek said glancing at her for a reaction.

Karen was careful not to provide one; although she was sure her heart skipped a beat or two. "Congratulations."

"She asked me if we should keep it. I wanted to tell her no… but I couldn't. Does that make me a bad person?" Derek appeared childlike.

"Oh boy…..that is a big one. I don't agree with abortion Derek, but I also don't believe in lying to people either. If Ivy is under the impression that you are happy about this and that you love her, then her decision may be different than if you tell her the truth." Karen reasoned with him. "Look, I've made plenty of stupid mistakes this year too Derek, but it's not too late to fix them. I know you, and I know that deep down inside you is a great man. It's time that you start acting like one." Karen smiled.

"You're probably right. But how do I tell Ivy….how do I tell her that it wasn't what I wanted." Derek inquired.

"It's time you start being honest with yourself Derek. If you start there can you be honest with everybody else. I know that you lie because you're afraid of what others with think or do, but you don't have to. You need to start living your life for you first and foremost." Karen spoke with wisdom beyond her years. She looked down and realized that her hand was on Derek's leg and his on top of hers.

She pulled his head on her shoulder and kissed the crown of his head. She knew that he was crying, and it broke her heart. She wanted to take him in her arms and hold him forever. She wanted to tell him that in that moment, she loved him. But she couldn't instead she just held him. "I'll always be your friend Derek." She whispered.

They sat there for about twenty minutes while Derek composed himself.

"Thank you Karen." He said sitting up.

"I told you that I will always be here for you." She smiled. "You need to go home and get some rest, we have one more week of Hitlist to get through." She smiled.

"Right then. I'll see you tomorrow love." Derek said with a kiss on her cheek.

They turned and walked separate ways. Karen was unclear of what the future would hold but she knew that she and Derek would always remain friends. She wasn't sure if she wanted more than that. Derek had been her best friend. And even though he was a selfish, defiant asshole, she loved him. It scared her to think about the truth of their relationship, but she'd always loved Derek. She couldn't tell him that knowing it would affect his decision and relationship with Ivy.


	2. What WE Did

**Thank you for reading. I hope that you enjoy this chapter. Please continue to read/review follow/favorite if you are so inclined. **

**Thank you to everyone who has supported this story so far, it means so much to me!**

One Year Earlier

Karen spent two hours at the bar, with the cast, before deciding to call it a night. She was exhausted mentally and physically. After they day she had, she deserved a break. She had three or four drinks with her friends. She was surprised at how open they were being with her. Bobby told her how upset he was when she got chosen to go on as Marilyn, but her performance proved him wrong. Jessica said how excited she was for her, and the group continued with praises. Karen found herself smiling, which was ironic. She never thought that she would be smiling about losing her boyfriend but she was. Karen decided to leave when Ivy and Sam got to the bar. She had enough drama for one night.

Karen walked three blocks to the hotel, sobering up in the crisp night air. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She wasn't going to let Dev and Ivy or anyone else ruin this night for her. She worked her whole life to get here. Just as she turned into the lobby she spotted Derek. They're eyes locked on to each other, and they shared a smile.

"Fancy meeting you here." Derek said placing his hand on her back and walking her into the hotel bar.

Karen didn't protest, or say a word. Tonight she was going to be the girl in the directors bed, or so she thought.

After twenty minutes, and three drinks, Derek and Karen were laughing louder than anyone in the bar.

"You seriously want me to believe that you 'understand love'?" Karen asked sarcastically finishing off the rest of her vodka and cranberry.

"Yes Karen, as incredulous as your expression is, I understand love." Derek smiled at her, knowing what would be coming next.

"Not how to make love," she quipped, "but being in love, like can't eat, can't sleep, and can't function without hearing that person breathing next to you kind of love." Karen placed her drink on the counter and motioned for another.

"I knew you would say that. But honestly, I have been in love, not to the degree that you described….that's ridiculous." Derek shook his head.

"Well, you still didn't answer me. Why did you tell me that before I went on stage Derek?" She asked louder than she anticipated.

"I wanted you to know that I felt the pain you felt before. I understood what you were going through and I'm here for you." He explained, unable to get the silly grin off of his face.

"I thought you were hitting on me," Karen smiled back.

"I never hit women love," He quipped.

Karen rolled her eyes and lightly punched him in the arm. "I am really happy that I got to go on tonight. You really saved the day," Karen said thinking about her earlier emotional state.

"So do you want to tell me what happened now?" Derek asked genuinely placing his hand on her thigh.

"I thought you didn't care?" Karen exclaimed with artificial shock.

"As a director I don't, but as your friend…..I care more than anyone," he responded much to her surprise.

"We're friends?" Karen was quite taken back. She knew that she and Derek had a connection, but never had she imagined they were friends.

"Yes…..that is if you want to be. Somewhere along the way I've grown quite fond of you." Derek smiled sucking on an ice cube from his scotch on the rocks.

"I would've thought the complete opposite," Karen divulged as she finished her second drink. "You barely say two words to me one day, and the next you're yelling my head off."

"That is Derek the director, who happens to be a lot different than Derek. But I do find it rather interesting that you connect with me even as Derek the director…..or what was that they said…..the _Dark Lord?" _Derek chuckled at the thought.

Karen almost spit out her drink, she had no idea how much Derek had caught onto in rehearsals, even when he pretended he wasn't listening.

"So anyways what did Dev do to you love?" Derek said going back to his original question.

"Oh boy….well let's see…Dev and I have been together for a long time. Maybe we just got comfortable…..I don't know. But he….well he had a friend, a colleague actually, that he had been spending a lot of time with. Turns out that time may not have been so amicable."

"I'm sorry to hear that Karen," Derek said dropping his smile and starring directly into her eyes. "Is that why you left him today?" Derek inquired.

Karen began to notice that the hand that once sat on her thigh was now moving up in down in a caressing motion. It felt so warm and caring. She was shocked the feeling was coming from Derek.

"Well….honestly no it's not. I wasn't going to leave him for that actually. I mean I was, but then I wasn't. I wanted to work it out. We were supposed to get married," Karen said trying to push back the tears that were now forming in her eyes.

Derek removed his hand from her thigh and placed it on her cheek, wiping the tear that fell from her right eye with his thumb. 'You don't have to tell me anymore if you don't want to," Derek assured her.

"I don't really have anyone else I want to tell," Karen said looking at him with big pools in her brown eyes. She could see all the concern reflected in his shining green eyes. Derek the director may have been a handle full. But in Derek's youthful mint green eyes you could see he had a heart of gold and that affected Karen in a way that she wasn't used to.

"Well then, go on." Derek smiled gently.

"He proposed to me during tech, but I gave him the ring back. With all the changes in my life, I was scared. That's when he told me about RJ, the co-worker, and I flipped. Apparently, Dev didn't think that cheating once was enough. So to get back at me for what I said out of anger, he slept with…..well he slept with Ivy." Karen revealed waiting for Derek to respond.

The emotion that Karen seen run through Derek's eyes was fascinating. Shock followed closely by anger, embarrassment, guilt and contemplation finally settled on sympathy.

"Oh darling, I know how hard this all must have been for you. You should have told me," he said placing a kiss on her cheek. Suddenly his demeanor changed.

"That's not even the worst" Karen revealed giving an evil and mechanical chuckle. "Do you want to know how I found out?" She asked looking straight through Derek, she was very distant.

He nodded, and she continued. "After wolf, I went to the dressing rooms. My engagement ring was sitting in front of my vanity. At first I thought maybe someone brought it back for Dev, but that didn't make since. He would want to give it to me himself…I asked Ivy, and she said that she put it there. She said I deserved to know that she and Dev had slept together, not only that he'd left my ring with her. It was the strangest thing. She was so calculating, and so cold. I knew that she did it so that she could be Marilyn. So I was going to let her," Karen said connecting with him again.

Derek stood up and headed for the door.

"What are you doing?" Karen asked confused.

"I'm going to go look for Ivy," He said with anger in his voice.

"Why?" Karen reasoned with him as she chased behind. "Are you upset because she slept with Dev?" She asked fearfully. "Because I didn't mean to disturb your relationship…I shouldn't have told you," She spoke to Derek's back, because he certainly wasn't focused on her.

"What did you just say?" He snapped his attention back to her with his intensity.

"Nothing, I shouldn't have said anything I'm sorry," she replied said shaking her head.

"You think I'm upset about Ivy sleeping with Dev?" Derek questioned sitting down in a nearby chair.

"Uh….well isn't that why you are turning red?" Karen asked joining him.

"Not at all Karen. I am upset because Ivy has caused determent to you and this show for the last time," Derek exclaimed to Karen's surprise.

"So what are you going to do?" She asked Derek in suspense.

"I'm going to let her go," he said as if it were the only option that he had.

"Don't do that Derek!" Karen pleaded with him, placing her hand on his shoulder as if to prevent him.

"Why shouldn't I?" He was shocked by her request. "You should be the last person to stop me." He was truly perplexed.

"You're right. But I can't help feeling like maybe she was just hurt. I mean you did start sleeping with Rebecca Duvall while you and Ivy were still together. I know that she must feel as bad as I do right now," Karen reminded him.

"Are you mad?! Ivy and I? Rebecca?" Derek starred at her for a moment before responding.

Karen was afraid to speak again, and further upset Derek so she waited for what seemed like a full minute of silence.

"Ivy and I had a mutual understanding of putting the work first. We were never a couple; in fact our physical relationship was part of me putting the work first. Rebecca and I never had any type of relation. I only showed her the attention she needed, which mostly came in the way of kissing and foot rubs.," Derek admitted.

"That's disgusting!" Karen exclaimed.

"Yeah her feet were pretty gross." He chuckled a bit.

"Not her feet; the way you treat women." Karen clarified with a frown. "How can you sit here and say those things. Women don't fall into bed with you just because. I'm sure that Ivy was under the assumption that the two of you were in a committed relationship. In fact I know she was under that impression because she told me." Karen was upset. She looked at Derek wondering how he would ever think otherwise.

"Karen I assure you that was not her assumption, because I didn't leave room for assumptions. Our relationship was purely about work. Whenever we were together we talked about work. The day she blew up in rehearsal was because I was focused on the work. In fact I can't tell you one thing about Ivy you don't know and vice versa. She wouldn't know my favorite color if her bloody life depended on it," Derek huffed.

"If you think that you can spend that kind of time with someone, and there be no feelings attached you're crazy. I don't know about men, but women can't just have sex, and there be no strings attached," Karen retorted.

"Maybe, your right Karen. I'm only trying to make things better for you moving forward. There is no doubt that you will continue on as Marilyn. Do you want to do that with Ivy carrying on? Just tell me what you want me to do, and it is done." Derek quickly calmed down.

"I want you to be my friend, and I want you to apologize to Ivy." Karen smiled at him standing up. Now if you would excuse me, I am going back to my room."

"I could join you if you like." Derek smirked devilishly.

"Didn't I just explain that you can't sleep with someone just because they're your leading lady?" Karen laughed at him.

"I'll tell you what. I promise never to sleep with you, if you promise me that you won't let anyone else walk over you." Derek said extending his hand out to the young woman.

Karen looked at his hand for a moment skeptically and then into his eyes. She could see that he was genuine about his proposition. "Well what if you change your mind?" Karen asked rhetorically as she shook his hand.

"But, let's put this in effect tomorrow. Tonight I wouldn't mind if you 'put the work first' with me." Karen smiled slyly.

"Is that an invitation Karen?" Derek questioned raising his eyebrows.

"I guess you could say something like that." She was beginning to feel a mixture of nervous energy, hormones and liquor take over her body.

"Well then…..Let me just warn you that you aren't going to want this to me a onetime affair." Derek stepped into the young woman's immediate space. He kissed her slowly.

After a few moments of passion Karen pulled away. "Let's take this to your room instead."

"With pleasure," Derek said with quickly.

They headed to the room with his hand on the small of her back.

**I think this could get interesting...what do you think?**

**Please leave thoughts, comments and constructive criticism below!**


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